My Journey to being still: Super Excited about a Blog I found today!!

I am soooo excited today! I found a blog today that moved me to tears and probably not for the reasons most of you would think. I have struggled ALL my life with being able to stay focused enough to clean. My bedroom, my school desks, my school locker and now my house. I never really understood why especially when I had no problems going and cleaning someone else's home. It has brought me much frustration, shame and embarrassment over the years and continues today. Several years ago when researching ADHD for one of my children I discovered I had ADD (attention deficit disorder), finally an answer to why! Well of course I figured I lived this long with it I was too old to worry about seeing a doctor for it.

About a month ago, after many long years of struggling with keeping my mind focused I finally decided to meet with my doctor. Cleaning and organizing my home was not my biggest struggle with ADD but one that caused some issues. My biggest problem was anxiety and allowing my mind to wonder into the world of what ifs and self doubt. If I made a decision I almost instantly would wonder if I had made the right decision, was I going to upset someone with that decision. So I went to the doctor and to my amazement (and yet another confirmation I made the right decision) I had gone to the doctor 6 years ago about the same thing and didn't remember it! Wow, how do you not remember going to the doctor! Well I have since been on medication and it seems to be helping me stay focused and not playing Satan's what if games as much. Don't get me wrong it wasn't an instant fix but it does help, along with spending daily time with God.

God has been with me on the crazy journey and guiding me to make the right decisions. He confirmed that for me today by directing me to a blog called "time-warp-wife.blogspot.com" by Darlene Schacht. She has some amazing stuff on her blog: lists, schedules, stuff on marriage, kids, cleaning. She even has things you can print out to help. One of her posts caught my eye: "Domestically Challenged?", well of course I am!!! I started reading her post and she talks about having ADHD and her struggle with being domestic and all I could think was THANK YOU GOD!!! Just what I needed today, just what I needed to read. Tears welled up in my eyes as I read, it was as if she was describing me. I have been wanting to be more hospitable and have family and friends over but I have always been to embarrassed. I'm not Betty homemaker or June Cleaver. I struggle! BUT.......this is the best part.....but I know I am still a work in progress and God is guiding me to be better. God is showering me with rain of mercy and grace and I am incredibly grateful. To Darlene, thank you for being brave, honest and inspiring! God's glory is shining through you and your blog.

Oh Lord God Almighty~thank you, thank you, thank you! You are always with me, guiding me and molding me into your imagine. I know I have a long journey ahead of me and I anticipate with great joy to see the woman You call me to be. Thank you for your grace, mercy and unconditional love. Thank you for your gift of salvation. For in Your Son's beautiful and holy name I pray, Amen!