Our womens' ministry put together a Womens' Fall Retreat a couple of weekends ago. This was our second year and I must say it was great! While our attendance was less than last year I know God had the women He wanted there in attendance. I was witness to some amazing things that weekend.
That Friday night right before we began, our planning committee gathered together along with our guest speaker in a circle to cover the evening in prayer. Heartfelt prayers were laid at the feet of Jesus and there was no denying God was in our midst. We began our evening with snacks and fellowship and then our guest speaker took over. Her name is Melody Griffin and she is an amazing singer, speaker and mother. Her testimony was very moving. Most of her testimony was on her family's choice to give life to her special needs son. He is now 18 and he came on stage with her that night during a song she wrote about him. Not a dry eye in the room!
While I absolutely loved Melody, there was another story playing out in front of my eyes. A very special lady had prayed for a particular person to come that night and God answered her prayer. Those of us that were aware of the prayer could do nothing but let the tears flow. When I noticed her walk in we were singing and all I could do was cry and praise my Heavenly Father. I was so moved by God's love that night; just in awe of answered prayers and tears of joy. I can only imagine how this special lady must have felt. It was a beautiful thing and I thank God for allowing me to be a part of it.
Of course we left that night pumped and ready for the next day. The next morning the ladies on the committee received a text around 5am that our main organization queen had gotten sick and was at the emergency room. Not at all what we wanted to hear but we all arrived and began to pull things together for the day. Of course most of it had already been done the night before so it wasn't too hard. That was the easy part. The hard part???? Well this is where I was stepping out in faith! Months earlier we had been throwing out names of ladies in the church to teach certain classes. We picked a wonderful person to ask about teaching the class on marriage. Then we had to come up with a back up in case she was not able. Well I had felt God nudging me over the past year or so step up and volunteer to teach about marriage. Of course I let my fear and doubt squash that idea real quick.
That was at least until we were discussing the back up person and I volunteered to teach the class if the other lady could not. I think in the back of my mind I was saying, "she will do it and I won't have to". Well God doesn't always do what we want, He has His own plans. The other lady could not teach the class because she had too many things going on at the time. "Oh no....now I have to teach a class on marriage??" God said YES!
And the battle begins.....
"God there are far better choices than me!" "What if they laugh at me or don't think I have enough experience or knowledge?" "What if they don't like my testimony or what I have to say?"
So many negative thoughts pounding my brain....satan of course throwing his two cents into the mix. I had to make the choice to follow God. He had lead me to this place for a reason and I have to trust Him completely. I have to rest in the knowledge of who my God is and what He had done for me in marriage. He had given me the wake up call I needed before I lost my husband. He had walked with me as I began to change into the wife He had called me to be. He would most definately give me the words of wisdom He wanted shared with the women in the group. And so I prepared for the class with the help of a very beautiful Godly mentor and the love and encouragement of my husband and friends.
So there I was on Saturday morning looking at these beautiful women, many I have admired for years. I gave it to God, stepped out on faith and taught the class. While I was nervous but God had given me a peace. A peace that He had it all taken care of I just needed to trust Him. I made it through all three sessions. I did get some immediate feedback from some of the women, they were so kind and loving. Of course I go home that afternoon and the thoughts of "I should have said this" "Oh I forgot to say that"....and on and on. I just kept praying each time a thought would come. I CHOSE to take each thought captive as God tells us. In the days and weeks since the retreat God has shown me through different women that HE did use me to impact the lives and marriages of the women that came that day. He had a plan and I am humble and grateful that He chose me to use and gave me the courage to step out in faith. A once lost and broken woman, now found and healing, being used to reach others for Christ!
"God does not call the qualified; He qualifies the called!" Barlow Girl
