Well today is my birthday and I must say it has not gone quite as I had hoped (I hurt my knee leaving for work this morning...and it still hurts!) but just the same I find joy in knowing today is the day God chose to bring me into this world many years ago. I find joy in knowing he chose me even before creation! Ephesians 1:4 "For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight." (emphasis mine) I think how amazing it is that He took the time to pick each and every person that has come into my life. I think about my family and giggle because ONLY God could have put my family together. I tend to get picked on a little and definitely get some funny looks when I have to explain my family dynamics. I have a blood relatives, step relatives, technically used to be step relatives but we still claim to be step relatives and "adopted" relatives. I'm sure if I actually tried to draw a family tree it would be a huge tree! Each one of them have been a huge blessing in my life, they have changed me and formed me into the woman of God I am today. I am just in awe of God's love and sense of humor!
Lord I sing your praise for you are an amazing God. You know each and every person coming in and out of my life. Each one with a different reason for being there. Each one to touch me or to be touched by me leaving Your fingerprints. Lord I thank you for each relative, friend and passer-by in my life~past, present and future. I thank you for choosing me even before creation! In Christ Jesus...Amen.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
I'm listening, I'm seeing, I'm learning...
This weekend I have had a the much needed opportunity to take some time to just slow down and relax. Time to listen and watch for God's answers to my prayers. I got to enjoy dinner with my husband and an amazing thing happened between us that only God could do. I stepped out on faith following a nudge from God and as soon as I did my husband looked at me with a funny look. Of course I questioned his look and he said "I was thinking about doing that very same thing!" In that very moment I knew God was nudging not only me but also my husband. It was a simple gesture but obviously important to God and to those who were touched by it.
Then Saturday morning I was able to get up and spend a couple of hours alone with God. I read and prayed and looked at a couple of blogs. I came across one that spoke volumes to me.(lovingthislife1.blogspot.com) It was as if the beautiful woman that had written it was speaking for me. Word after word I felt a sense of relief and thanksgiving that I apparently am not alone in my struggle with worry, anxiety and fears. God was using her to speak to me and letting me know I am not in this alone. Not only is He walking with me every step but he is also leading me to places that will help me in my walk. I read more of the book "one thousand gifts" by Ann Voskamp and again I feel as if what I have been feeling I can finally see in words. So much I could not explain, just these feelings I had little control over. Encouragement came in through their words. Encouragement only God the Father could bring.
I came across Ephesians 5:20 "and give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ" and wrote it in my journal. Then this morning I was checking my emails and came across the update for Good Morning Girls. (www.goodmorninggirls.org) They are starting a bible study on Ephesians. I thought, OK that sounds great I'm going to do it. I sat down to read the first day's scripture and when I opened my journal I saw where I had written Ephesians 5:20. I just smiled because I knew that was God's way of confirming this is where He wants me in the bible. Just reading the first days scripture was reassuring, comforting and peaceful. I just love the way God works. What an amazing and awesome God we serve.
Then Saturday morning I was able to get up and spend a couple of hours alone with God. I read and prayed and looked at a couple of blogs. I came across one that spoke volumes to me.(lovingthislife1.blogspot.com) It was as if the beautiful woman that had written it was speaking for me. Word after word I felt a sense of relief and thanksgiving that I apparently am not alone in my struggle with worry, anxiety and fears. God was using her to speak to me and letting me know I am not in this alone. Not only is He walking with me every step but he is also leading me to places that will help me in my walk. I read more of the book "one thousand gifts" by Ann Voskamp and again I feel as if what I have been feeling I can finally see in words. So much I could not explain, just these feelings I had little control over. Encouragement came in through their words. Encouragement only God the Father could bring.
I came across Ephesians 5:20 "and give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ" and wrote it in my journal. Then this morning I was checking my emails and came across the update for Good Morning Girls. (www.goodmorninggirls.org) They are starting a bible study on Ephesians. I thought, OK that sounds great I'm going to do it. I sat down to read the first day's scripture and when I opened my journal I saw where I had written Ephesians 5:20. I just smiled because I knew that was God's way of confirming this is where He wants me in the bible. Just reading the first days scripture was reassuring, comforting and peaceful. I just love the way God works. What an amazing and awesome God we serve.
Friday, January 13, 2012
Am I listening???
Phil 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."
I have been dealing with anxiety for while now, some days are better than others but it has been a constant "invisible" tag-along. I've looked up scripture about it, read books about it, talked about it and prayed about it. The past few months I have had a very heavy heart and felt as though I need to change some things in my life. I have felt like God is wanting me to make some changes but never could figure out what it was He wanted. I mentioned in an email to a friend I had been in prayer about what God wanted for me and as I typed those words I realized the problem wasn't that God wasn't answering my prayers~I wasn't stopping long enough to listen for His answer! Since then I have been trying to make myself be still and listen for God's answer. Well as a working mother and wife my "still" time is not always very long. This morning as I prayed in the shower God helped me realize my prayers were mostly focused inward on myself. I'm not saying I am not supposed to pray for myself, I definitely am, but God showed me as I pray for others my anxiety level goes down. The more I lifted others to God in prayer the focus was no longer on my and my struggles. I felt my heart, mind and body become less tense. I finally felt a little of that heavy heart lifting. I finally listened for God and as expected He was there the whole time. I'm still waiting to hear what God wants for me as far as my priorities with family, church, friends, work, etc, but I know He is there and He will answer when He is ready and when He thinks I am ready. I have laid it at His feet and now I must leave it there and wait with great anticipation for God's guidance.
Lord God, I pray Father You will forgive me for not listening. I ask Lord for forgiveness keeping myself too busy to hear You and not relying on Your guidance but resorting back to my own ways. Lord I pray You will continue to remind me to "Be Still....and know You are God" Psalm 46:10. Amen
I have been dealing with anxiety for while now, some days are better than others but it has been a constant "invisible" tag-along. I've looked up scripture about it, read books about it, talked about it and prayed about it. The past few months I have had a very heavy heart and felt as though I need to change some things in my life. I have felt like God is wanting me to make some changes but never could figure out what it was He wanted. I mentioned in an email to a friend I had been in prayer about what God wanted for me and as I typed those words I realized the problem wasn't that God wasn't answering my prayers~I wasn't stopping long enough to listen for His answer! Since then I have been trying to make myself be still and listen for God's answer. Well as a working mother and wife my "still" time is not always very long. This morning as I prayed in the shower God helped me realize my prayers were mostly focused inward on myself. I'm not saying I am not supposed to pray for myself, I definitely am, but God showed me as I pray for others my anxiety level goes down. The more I lifted others to God in prayer the focus was no longer on my and my struggles. I felt my heart, mind and body become less tense. I finally felt a little of that heavy heart lifting. I finally listened for God and as expected He was there the whole time. I'm still waiting to hear what God wants for me as far as my priorities with family, church, friends, work, etc, but I know He is there and He will answer when He is ready and when He thinks I am ready. I have laid it at His feet and now I must leave it there and wait with great anticipation for God's guidance.
Lord God, I pray Father You will forgive me for not listening. I ask Lord for forgiveness keeping myself too busy to hear You and not relying on Your guidance but resorting back to my own ways. Lord I pray You will continue to remind me to "Be Still....and know You are God" Psalm 46:10. Amen
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Finding Strength in God
The past few days have been very emotional. I have cried, prayed, laughed and loved. Since my last post the beautiful woman I spoke about lost her battle with cancer. She was an amazing woman of strength and courage. My (step) brother's father also passed away yesterday. As I arrived to be with my brother, I looked at his father and he was finally as peace. I also had a cousin to pass away yesterday as well. He had been in the hospital since the day he was born 23 years ago. If I step back and look at all of the death and struggles as the world would, it would be easy to get depressed and allow worry to creep in. BUT I am grateful to God because I can see all of these deaths through His eyes and with His strength. I was trying to explain to my daughter last night how God has heals in different ways. As we live here on earth of course we want our loved ones to be fully healed and remain here with us but we have to remember God has healed them. He has taken all of the pain and sickness from each one. He has given them new and improved bodies. Now they celebrate in the presence of the Almighty Father!
I have been looking at new ways to grow my relationship with God and have been counting the many gifts God has blessed me with. I am trying to start a new spiritual journal and hoping to get my daughter to start one as well. I'm excited about that. Also today I saw where Ann Voskamp has issued a "Joy Dare". She has challenged us to start over for 2012 and count 1000 gifts from God. You can post a picture or write it out. So I have posted a new page to my blog to count my gifts in 2012. I hope you will check it out and also check out her website at www.onethousandgifts.com. She has a great printable list for each day of the month. If you take up the challenge I pray God will draw you closer to Him.
I have been looking at new ways to grow my relationship with God and have been counting the many gifts God has blessed me with. I am trying to start a new spiritual journal and hoping to get my daughter to start one as well. I'm excited about that. Also today I saw where Ann Voskamp has issued a "Joy Dare". She has challenged us to start over for 2012 and count 1000 gifts from God. You can post a picture or write it out. So I have posted a new page to my blog to count my gifts in 2012. I hope you will check it out and also check out her website at www.onethousandgifts.com. She has a great printable list for each day of the month. If you take up the challenge I pray God will draw you closer to Him.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Be Still.....
Today I am reminded just how precious our time with our family and friends truly is. I am reminded to rely on God for strength and encouragement so that I can encourage and love others.
I visited a beautiful woman, mother and wife today as she struggles in the last hours of her life. Surrounded by her family and friends, I gently say hello and goodbye at the same time and slip out of the door to allow privacy for the family. She has fought a great battle against cancer with such grace, optimism and strength. As I left the hospital room I fought hard to hold back the tears until I reached my car. Tears of joy for her to be without pain but also tears of pain and sorrow for her husband and two kids. Oh Lord I pray You would rain peace upon that family.
I check on my (step) brother. He's also watching a loved slowly pass. His father's health has declined rapidly. Now he is taking care of his father AND his family. I can see the stress taking it's toll. It makes my heart heavy knowing how much he is hurting. Lord I lift him to you! I pray Father for Your strength to carry him. I pray Your embrace will comfort him.
A friend's grandmother has passed away as well, a new mother needing an organ transplant, a young man fights a battle with leukemia, a young girl recovering from being hit by a drunk driver, another family lost a beautiful daughter to a drunk driver as 3 other family members recover in the hospital. Oh Lord, how they need you! I pray Lord God, You will comfort these families. Lord I pray You will continue to remind them of Your ever present love. Lord God only You truly know what each person needs and I pray Lord you will gently touch each one just to let them know you are there. You are with them, You have never left them and never will.
As I think of all that has occurred in the past few months it is easy to allow Satan to sneak in to try and plant doubts. Again as I struggle with a heavy heart today for so many that are hurting, He takes me back to the one verse that brings true comfort...."Be Still and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10.
Tonight I am going to sing praises to my Father above at praise team practice and enjoy my time with my family. Lord I love you!
I visited a beautiful woman, mother and wife today as she struggles in the last hours of her life. Surrounded by her family and friends, I gently say hello and goodbye at the same time and slip out of the door to allow privacy for the family. She has fought a great battle against cancer with such grace, optimism and strength. As I left the hospital room I fought hard to hold back the tears until I reached my car. Tears of joy for her to be without pain but also tears of pain and sorrow for her husband and two kids. Oh Lord I pray You would rain peace upon that family.
I check on my (step) brother. He's also watching a loved slowly pass. His father's health has declined rapidly. Now he is taking care of his father AND his family. I can see the stress taking it's toll. It makes my heart heavy knowing how much he is hurting. Lord I lift him to you! I pray Father for Your strength to carry him. I pray Your embrace will comfort him.
A friend's grandmother has passed away as well, a new mother needing an organ transplant, a young man fights a battle with leukemia, a young girl recovering from being hit by a drunk driver, another family lost a beautiful daughter to a drunk driver as 3 other family members recover in the hospital. Oh Lord, how they need you! I pray Lord God, You will comfort these families. Lord I pray You will continue to remind them of Your ever present love. Lord God only You truly know what each person needs and I pray Lord you will gently touch each one just to let them know you are there. You are with them, You have never left them and never will.
As I think of all that has occurred in the past few months it is easy to allow Satan to sneak in to try and plant doubts. Again as I struggle with a heavy heart today for so many that are hurting, He takes me back to the one verse that brings true comfort...."Be Still and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10.
Tonight I am going to sing praises to my Father above at praise team practice and enjoy my time with my family. Lord I love you!
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